Hollywood producer Tony Scott made the decision August 20th to end his life. Of all the decisions we can make in our lives, this is probably the most crucial one of all – the one that will have the greatest, the longest, and farthest-reaching impact. We can’t know what went into this decision, but he joins many other well-known people who have made that same choice. (See sidebar below)
Suicide has often been referred to as a “selfish act.” Understandably there are family and friends whose lives are unmistakably altered by this choice, and with little (if any) control over it. But for many, ending their lives does not seem selfish at all. In fact, people often express a firm conviction that “the world (or my family) will be better off without me.”
Thoughts of suicide run the range from a single thought over a minor disappointment or frustration to the well thought-out and planned action. In most cases, this kind of death leaves so many unanswered questions. Was it intentional? Was it an accident? Why???? Why didn’t you tell me you were thinking of this? Should I have seen the signs? Was there something I could have or should have done? Why??? Why did you do this?
Some people in the midst of an attempt will either change their minds or expect someone to find them “in time.” However, unfortunately, help in whatever form may arrive too late. What pushes people to seriously consider taking their lives? Depression often precedes an act of suicide. The person feels completely unable to cope with overwhelming stressors, or is experiencing deep emotional pain. There may be an overpowering sense of worthlessness, of being of no use to anyone. Often people who consider suicide experience feelings of helplessness and hopelessness. They have lost all hope of things ever getting better, and nothing will convince them differently.
What signs can we look for that would suggest a person may be suicidal? Classic signs include talk of despair, hopelessness, no sense of purpose, powerlessness. Or it might be evident that that person has lost interest in things previously enjoyed, has significant problems sleeping, not eating, or is noticeably withdrawing.
Other signs include reckless behaviors, increased use of drugs or alcohol, feelings of rage or uncontrollable anger, preoccupation with death or with “putting things in order,” which can come in the form of giving away possessions, seeking access to firearms, pills, or other methods to commit suicide, threatening or writing about death or suicide – are all definite tell-tale signs.
Unfortunately, sometimes the signs are subtle and can easily be overlooked. For many people who have already made the clear decision to end their lives, they will give no indication of this, and in fact may even seem to be doing better. Sometimes making that decision alone brings relief from the agony they have been experiencing.
Can suicide be prevented? In many cases it can if that person is able to find relief from those things that make suicide look “inviting.” Relief generally comes from finding someone to talk to who can accept and understand their feelings, yet offers some hope towards finding solutions to bring a sense of purpose and power back into their lives.
Is a professional person required? It can be extremely difficult for an untrained person to know how to respond to another person’s expressed thoughts of suicide. Perhaps one of the greatest forms of help a person can provide is to express strong caring and concern for the suicidal person, to validate the depth of their hopelessness, yet show the desire to help find solutions.
Generally the best way to assist that person is by getting professional help from a doctor, mental health professional, or through a hospital emergency department. During a suicidal crisis, it is essential that someone remain with that person, seeking assistance from others who also can provide this kind of presence and support. In a sense, it’s saying, “You will not be alone until things can get better.”
There are immediate sources of help for an individual who is considering suicide: calling the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK, or the Crisis Line of Grundy County at 815-942-6611. No matter how hopeless things seem, there is always hope somewhere. Just reach out to someone who can help you find that hope.
Susan C. Hudson, MA LCPC, Director
Mental Health & Substance Abuse Division
Grundy County Health Department
Michele Batara, MA, CIRS
Executive Director
Crisis Line of Will and Grundy Counties
SIDEBAR
The following people made attempts to commit suicide:
Owen Wilson
Britney Spears
Halle Berry
Drew Carey
Mike Wallace
Elizabeth Taylor
Adam Ant
Drew Barrymore
Elton John
Tina Turner
Richard Pryor
Billy Joel
Eminem
Johnny Cash
Gary Coleman
Ken Griffy Jr.
The following famous people died from suicide:
Cleopatra
Vincent van Gogh
Virginia Woolf
Melvin Purvis- FBI agent who brought Dillinger and Pretty Boy Floyd to justice
Don Cornelius
Freddie Prinz
Ernest Hemingway
Del Shannon- sang Runaway
Charles Rocket – Saturday Night Live 80-81 season
Ryan Jenkins – Reality TV Star; Megan wants a Millionaire
Paula Goodspeed – Devoted fan of American Idol and Paula Abdul
Kurt Cobain
Mary Kay Bergman – voice of Ms. Cartman and Wendy on South Park and voice of Timmy Turner of Fairly Oddparents
Jonathon Brandes – Sea Quest, Never Ending Story II; The Next Chapter
Andrew Koenig – Boner on Growing Pains
Dano Plato – Kimberley on Different Strokes
Brynn Hartman – wife of Phil Hartman
Dave Duerson – Former Chicago Bear
Mary Kennedy – estranged wife of Robert Kennedy
Also see “One a Day”
(Time article on military suicides, July 23, 2012)
“Every day, one U.S. soldier commits suicide.”
“More U.S. soldiers have killed themselves than have died in the Afghan War.
Why can’t the Army win the war on suicide?”